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  1. One Liners
  2. 13 of Rodney Trotter's most ridiculous one-liners in Only Fools and Horses - MyLondon
  3. Great One-liners That You Won't Be Able to Get Out of Your Head
  4. Behind The Scenes: Our Exclusive Chat With Daniel Ricciardo
  5. Here are 100 guaranteed to get a quick laugh:

A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

One Liners

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. Children seldom misquote you. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body. Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools.

So far, I think nature is winning. There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you. A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

13 of Rodney Trotter's most ridiculous one-liners in Only Fools and Horses - MyLondon

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.

Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. The best thing about living at the beach is that you only have assholes on three sides of you. Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly.

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The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me… they were cramming for their finals. There's a support group for that. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut.


Great One-liners That You Won't Be Able to Get Out of Your Head

You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. Sarcasm about Friends. The wastebasket is a writer's best friend. I am breaking it in for a friend. More often than not, sarcastic one comments can hurt people's feelings. So be careful about when you use them and at whom.

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Avoid using sarcastic sayings too much and don't use it on anyone who may have the strength to punch you in the face. Intonation, as in the rise and fall in your voice, while sarcasm is the key to make your statements seem like jokes. Share This. One-liners on Life. Hilarious One-liners.

Father Daughter Quotes. Words of Encouragement for a Friend. Love Quotes from Romeo and Juliet. Wise Sayings About Love.

Behind The Scenes: Our Exclusive Chat With Daniel Ricciardo

Moving on Quotes and Sayings. Positive Thinking Quotes and Phrases. Best Wishes Quotes. Funny Mottos About Life.

Here are 100 guaranteed to get a quick laugh:

Funny Quotes About Life. Sarcastic Sayings About Life. Best Friend Sayings. Short Funny Quotes.

Famous One-Liners

Humorous Quotes.